The Quiet Power of Selflessness

The modern world doesn’t exactly sing the praises of selflessness. We’re led to believe self-interest is the only way to the top, but what if the most powerful superpower, and the most rewarding one, is the conscious decision to put the needs, goals, and well-being of other people before your own? Now, this doesn’t mean you should ignore yourself, it simply means changing your internal default, which is an ego-centric “me, me, me,” to an “us, us, us” mentality. The selfless act is making the choice to prioritize the other person in the way you show up every day. There’s an incredible paradox when it comes to putting others before yourself, in that we actually end up getting far more than we give. Putting someone else’s stability, peace of mind, or success first forges a level of trust and loyalty in the person you put first that they’re subconsciously aware of, they know you care, that you’re in their corner, and this makes the relationship worth more than gold. When you’re in a rut, the person who you put first is the one person you can always count on to be there for you in return.

Another beautiful thing about making another person’s problem your own is the mind shift that comes with it, when you’re in the thick of your own problems, they can seem monumental. But a friend’s career problem, your partner’s anxiety, or your child’s math grade suddenly becomes the goalpost, and your own problems fade into the background. If you find you have an anxious or self-focused mind, you’re more than likely to find relief by shifting your attention to another person. The more you make others a priority, the more you also create an environment around you in which other people are happy to do the same for you. Whether it’s a team member putting the team’s success above their own accolades or a team leader making sure their staff feel valued and developed, people work better and harder when there’s a supportive, empathetic culture in the workplace.

In the professional realm, putting people first is known as servant leadership, and when done right, being selfless in a position of power isn’t a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it takes a leader who’s extremely secure in their value to expend their energy on hearing their employees out and clearing hurdles for them to thrive. Servant leadership leads to the best, long-term results as your people feel cared for, and they’ll not only perform better but will be more motivated to keep their leader in a position of power. While getting what we want when we want it might feel good for the second or two that it happens, it’s the moments of service that people remember. They’re the defining moments that form your legacy, the time you intervened for someone, the time you forfeited your own gain for someone, the time you listened and truly heard. And all of these things come not from selfishness, but from selflessness. Putting others before yourself is not a detraction from your life, it’s a completion of your life. By realizing that your success is not independent of the people around you, you can embrace the power of putting others first.

-Ken Knapp Jr.